Today I would like to talk about how to attract the right people in your life. And what do I mean by “right people”? I’m not talking about the people in your life who are there to teach you something. For example, the people who are always asking for a favor and you can learn to protect your own boundaries. Or, people in your life who are complaining a lot and you can learn to enjoy life more.
Today I want to talk about attracting people in your life who resonate with your Best and True Self. The people who will lift you up, resonate with your truest core, challenge you to become more you or to stay true to the true you.
Let me give you a personal example. A couple of months ago my relationship ended. Since then I’ve been thinking about my own behavior in that relationship and how that relationship reflected my inner world.
From that contemplation, I learned a couple of things about myself. And that made me think about the person I want to attract and the person I want to become.
Not because I’m not good enough as I am, but because I still have unconscious and conscious behavior that is not true for who I really am. That made me think about how I look at myself, how I treat myself, what makes me feel the best and the happiest…..and what kind of person would fit the best with me (and I with him).
So, today I want to talk about what I learned in the last couple of months and weeks.
Be what you want to attract.
You’ve probably heard this phrase before. “Be what you want to attract”. Why? Because everything is in essence energy and you will attract what you resonate with within. So, if you are more negatively inclined you will attract the same kind of people and circumstances. If you are more positive, you will attract the same kind of people and circumstances.
Now, the person who will come into your life won’t fit the energetic description perfectly. They will fit what YOU pay the most attention to. That’s why opposites still attract.
The main point here is that if you value honesty, be honest and you will attract people who value honesty as well. If you value generosity, be generous and you will attract people who value that as well.
If other people don’t resonate with what YOU find important, either they will leave or you will leave.
So pay attention to what you value most and live accordingly. You will attract people who value the same things and it is easier to disconnect with people who don’t value your values.
Be the opposite of what you want to attract.
I like a masculine man. This doesn’t mean he needs to be physically strong and with lots of muscles (I don’t mind it either), but energetically masculine. I flourish when I’m with a man who knows what he wants, knows how to get it, knows his values, lives accordingly, etc.
Now, if I’m being very masculine I won’t attract such a guy because in this case, opposites attract. A masculine man or woman usually prefer to be with a more feminine man or woman. This is because sexual chemistry is based on polarity. This polarity is the basis for passion. This passion is what connects the two different poles (masculinity and femininity).
The thing is, we all have everything within us. We are all generous and greedy, we are all masculine and feminine, we are all strong and weak. It’s not an “all-or-nothing”- game. Different situations ask for different aspects of us.
But if you want to have a chemistry in your relationships, be that a friendship or a love relationship, opposites will ignite a fire. Be that for a good conversation between friends or for passionate lovemaking.
Stay true to who you are
Let me emphasize this. It’s not about turning into a Persona; someone who stages his or her personality. This is about becoming the True You. This is about learning what YOU find the most valuable in yourself. This is about embracing and being those values in order to create your world and with that have the right people in your life.
For that, it’s about becoming your True Self, your Best Self. This means staying true to who you are and if you don’t yet know what you truly value the most, it’s about honoring yourself in this journey.
Ditch the habits that sabotage yourself being who you truly are.
I’m an emotional eater. This is a habit with which I keep self-sabotaging. With it, I prevent myself from having the best body I can have, feel the best about myself as I can and feel empowered over what I put in my body.
This is a habit that I’m in the process of ditching to step into my true self even more. Such a habit is there for a reason. Nobody puts food in their mouth when they don’t really need it physically. An emotional need needs to be addressed. Self-sabotaging habits are there because an emotional need isn’t being addressed.
For this, Shadow Work is the best to shine your light on those aspects of yourself that you’ve neglected or ignored. Self-sabotaging generally stems from shadow parts of yourself you’re scared to address.
Adopt the habits that will get you closer to who you truly are.
If you want happy people in your life, you won’t help that process by being negative. If you want people in your life with whom you can go out in nature, you won’t help that process by sitting on your couch.
So if you want to attract people in your life who will uplift you and add value to your life, you can bring those uplifting aspects and value into your own life first. Go out in nature by yourself. Start that work-out by yourself. Change your eating habit by yourself.
Just start that new habit that you admire in other people and would like to have more of in your own life.
Now, ending this article I want to emphasize that these are nor rules! There are always exceptions and what’s most important is that you stay true to who you are and what feels right for you.
You can use these pointers as something to think and contemplate about. Maybe you should take some action regarding your health and fitness, or maybe you should take some action regarding your generosity, or maybe you should take some action towards your beliefs about love and relationships.
I would love to know what kind of people you would like more of in your life?
Please let me know by leaving a comment below.
I would love it if you would become a member of the Conscious Living with Carmen Community. It’s free and by signing up you’ll receive a download with “One Small step you can take to get to know the Real You”.