Category: Life’s Reflections (Page 1 of 6)

How to follow your bliss when you feel like shit.

Photo by Leon Liu on Unsplash

I read a lot about following our bliss and to follow what makes us feel good inside. And although I get the background of this, I also know it’s not that straightforward.

For 2 years I tried to follow my bliss and to follow what felt good, but instead of my life changing for the best, it got worse and I felt confused, angry and frustrated.

I still had episodes of feeling depressed and anxious and I was utterly confused as to how to combine my episodes of depression and following my bliss.

How can I follow my bliss if I feel depressed? And how can I follow my bliss if I don’t really know what I want?

These were the questions I struggled with and I found the answers to.

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What do horseback riding and motorcycles have to do with spirituality?

When I was in my twenties I had a boyfriend with a motorcycle. I still remember the very first time I rode with him on the back of the motorcycle.

I still see us approaching a roundabout and taking the first turn on the roundabout….the way the motorcycle moved under me, going from right to left, got me hooked in a second.

I fell in love with riding a motorcycle.

So I started with my own driver’s license. And that says a lot because at that time my fear of failure was still very much present. I was still very anxious, nervous and insecure. And practicing for my car driver’s license was a somewhat traumatic event for me.

So doing this said a lot about my love for motors.

But, I wasn’t free from that fear of failure and many times I froze.

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How to be okay with not feeling okay.

Picture by me on my morning walk.

The past few weeks have been tough on me. I had a lot on my plate. Too much actually. I had too little time to recuperate and too little time to myself. In the beginning, it was okay but after a week or so I could feel the change happening. I started going from feeling and being okay to feeling and being not okay.

I felt it in my body. Tiredness setting in. When I got up, my eyes felt heavy, my mind still busy with my dreams, getting up earlier than I feel was good for me at that time.

I sensed it in my behavior. Reverting back to the essentials that needed to be done. Doing the basics and no more.

I observed it in the discrepancy between my desires and capabilities at this time. I desire to do more than I can. I desire to go to that class with friends. I desire to make that healthy meal. I desire to do my yoga practice.

But all I can is lie on the couch and watch Netflix in my spare time (Netflix is not a necessity though, but a choice 😉 )

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The rediculousness of our voice in our head…..

Picture by me – handmade mandala

I’m in this beautiful environment, surrounded by lovely people, doing what I love to do…..and I experience the strength of my conditioned and limiting beliefs.

It’s like a veil or filter coloring my experience. An experience so easy to label as fun, amazing and wonderful.

Yet, these beliefs are forming words through that voice in my head that’s warning me for all kinds of perceived threats of loss and lack.

Because of those words, my emotions kick in. On the surface, it might seem as if these emotions match the voice in my head but on the contrary.

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When people project their shit on you

Photo by Suresh Kumar on Unsplash

The other day I had 2 people I interact with on a somewhat regular basis express their dissatisfaction with me. One of them did so pretty aggressively saying something like “wipe that smile off your face” (I smile a lot) and “it has to be your way or the highway”.

Now, we all have our (limiting) beliefs and views of our world and we differ in the extent of believing our (limiting) beliefs.

When we (strongly) believe certain beliefs we act from those beliefs.

It can happen that we meet people, interact with them, become friends, become lovers and they interact with us from those beliefs. This means that their view of you is (strongly) colored by their beliefs.

Those beliefs may entail certain ways of doing things, values, what’s allowed and what’s not. Because of those beliefs they might want you to act in a certain way, or be a certain way.

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