Have you ever felt like you didn’t deserve something? When you had such a good and beautiful day with so much love, laughter, abundance and joy you had a feeling you didn’t really deserve it?
Or, when you look at other people living YOUR dream life you’re thinking that you will never be able to get that life you dream of?
Oftentimes, we feel we don’t deserve what we desire. We might desire more abundance, work that brings us more joy, more clients, more friends, a lover, more fun or more adventures……and we feel bad about either desiring MORE or something BETTER.
Your desires are there for a reason. They are your own special and unique expressions in this world. So there’s nothing to be ashamed of when desiring something more or better. It’s great even because you’re evolving, growing and with that contributing to the world.
Your desires are GOOD as a desire equals love.
A desire is one of the many expressions of love. Love for yourself and love for others.
Anything you desire for yourself is equal to a desire for something for someone else. As you and another are the same.
But not everyone feels that. And if you’re not yet feeling that in your core, I want to share with you 4 habits people have who feel worthy of love and therefore give full expressions to their desires.
Habit No 1 – Allowing
Allowing doesn’t mean letting everything in your life “just” happen and to sit back and go with the flow. On the contrary. Allowing means aligning yourself with your true self and doing what feels inspired/right to you.
Allowing yourself to do what feels right for you. What feels authentically right for you.
People who feel worthy of love, know that doing what you love is the best thing to do for yourself as well as for others. They know it’s in their own best interest (and therefore in everyone’s best interest) to stay true to themselves instead of doing what they are told or think they should do.
People who feel worthy of love live their life according to what feels best for them. They don’t worry about other people’s opinions. If something feels right for them, they follow up on that feeling.
They allow their true self to come forward.
A pitfall of Allowing: fear of lack.
When you’re new to this and you’re just starting to follow what feels good for you, one pitfall of Allowing is the Fear of Lack.
A fear of lack is a great motivator to do what you’re told or think you should do. For example: “if you don’t do [……], you won’t get any [love, money, friends]”. So stepping away from that and following what feels best for you can trigger hidden limiting beliefs of lack. If you follow your joy, you will lack money, love, or friends.
So this is a great opportunity for you to uncover and work with that belief, so you can fully step into following your joy and allowing your true self to come out.
Habit No 2 – Taking responsibility
People who feel worthy of love, take responsibility for their own feelings. They know that someone or something isn’t responsible for their emotions. They know it’s up to them to give meaning to their circumstances. They know it’s their choice how to react to what’s happening.
When you’re in shitty circumstances, it’s still up to you to chose how to react or how to interpret the circumstances. “Shitty” is still subjective and it’s a choice you can make to see it as “shitty” or as a “lesson”.
People who feel worthy of love know that it’s their choice and their choice only how to react. They choose to react in such a way that it empowers them. They may find themselves in so-called “shitty” circumstances, but they choose a perspective that empowers them instead of one that emotionally cripples them.
A pitfall of Taking responsibility is guilt/victimhood
When you’re new to this and you’re just starting to follow what feels good for you, one pitfall of taking responsibility is feeling guilty or feeling like a victim. This has a lot to do with the pitfall of fear of lack.
When you’re used to thinking and believing it’s “wrong” or “a bad idea” to follow your joy and do what feels best for you, when you DO take that step, you can feel guilty for doing so. Feeling guilty because you think you’re doing something bad.
Feeling like a Victim is also a pitfall because you can spiral down in negative thinking that it’s YOU(‘re fault) who’s creating all these bad and negative feelings. Taking responsibility is different than feeling like a victim. When you take responsibility you know that you have a choice in how to react. When you feel like a victim you think you DON’T have a choice in how to react.
Habit No 3 – Being able to let emotions come and go
People who feel worthy of love know that it’s not always rainbows and sunshine. They know that feeling bad or down is part of the game. We are all human after all. But they also know that they are not their emotions.
Your emotions are appearances and energy. They come and go. And when negative ones arise and you know you’re not your emotions, you can let those emotions be. People who feel worthy of love don’t resist negative emotions. They know it’s part of the game of life. They don’t fight them, ignore them or resist them.
They either learn from them and uncover some limiting belief or they just let those emotions be, let them move so it can dissolve and move on.
A pitfall of being able to let emotions come and go is stagnation
When you’re new to this and you’re just starting to follow what feels good for you, one pitfall of letting emotions come and go is stagnation. You can lose yourself in observing your emotions.
Losing oneself in observing is the contrary of Allowing. It doesn’t mean letting everything be and not doing anything. Observing and letting emotions be is a good practice when you haven’t got anything to learn from your negative emotions and it’s best to let those emotions move in order to dissolve.
We are human and not free of any kind of emotion. People who feel worthy of love know when to learn from a negative emotion and when to let it be so it can dissolve.
With which habit do you have the most trouble with? Please let me know in the comments below.
I would love it if you would become a member of the Conscious Living with Carmen Community. It’s free and by signing up you’ll receive a download with “One Small step you can take to get to know the Real You”.