Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

I got a letter in the mail. You know, a written paper in an envelope? I hardly get them anymore but this time I did get one. It’s from the government saying I will be receiving less money than they intended to give me.

I have a relationship with the government as my business isn’t sustainable yet. We have a program that supports starting entrepreneurs. Very generous and I’m grateful I get financial support during months when I don’t earn enough money yet.

But when I opened that envelope and read the letter I initially didn’t feel grateful… all.

After that letter, I had 2 clients cancel on me last minute. I also invested money in my business before realizing that specific investment not being the best for me at this time.

Next to that, I have my course launching soon for which I don’t have any participants yet.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not throwing a pity party here. I’m just laying out my circumstances so I can explain how I keep feeling good about myself. 

How I started feeling shitty and act upon it.

Before I started to feel good again, I fell into the rabbit hole. Because after these experiences, I started to eat more (more specifically candy) and I started to watch Netflix (more specifically the series Suits), which I never do.

I couldn’t bring myself to work and I wasn’t inspired.

All in all, I slid into unconscious behavior because I couldn’t deal with the unconscious anxiety and fear I was feeling.

So, let me break this down for you.

My Circumstances:
  • Money income is fluctuating. I’m partly dependent on the government.
  • I created a course but I don’t have any participants yet.
  • The government let me know the money flow is lessening.
  • I had 2 clients cancel on my last minute.
What happened unconsciously:
  • My limiting belief about money got triggered.
    • Because of that, I started to doubt myself and my course.
    • I started to believe I had to earn money SOON!
    • I put a lot of pressure on myself regarding the course.
    • I invested money so I could sell my course (at least, that’s what I hoped) which wasn’t money invested in the right place at the right time.
  • My limiting belief about Time got triggered.
    • I need to make money FAST.
    • As I have a time-limited relationship with the government I don’t have much time to get my business going.
What I started doing as a result of this:
  • I started eating more as a way to “feel in control”.
  • I started watching series as a way to “escape”.

Those two limiting beliefs about Money and Time are the biggest ones for me to deal with. They bring up lots of fear and sometimes I forget how to feel good regardless of these beliefs.

Breaking down what happens

Our current situation or circumstance is a reflection of our vibration. Everything is ultimately energy. We are and so are the circumstances in our lives.

Vibrational attitude creates, circumstances reflect.

Bentinho Massaro

Our mood, intentions, attitude, everything that falls into our Being, has a frequency to it. How you feel, what you think, what you say, everything has a frequency. This is something we have control over as in that we can change how we feel, what we think, and say and therefore change our frequency.

Circumstances, on the other hand, cannot change their own frequency. They have a certain vibratory state to them and they react and attract to similar vibratory states. So if you’re emanating the same kind of frequency of a particular situation or circumstance, it will attract itself to you.

As I’ve learned from before mentioned Bentinho Massaro is that the expression “Seeing is believing” is the exact opposite of how life really works.

What we believe is what we will see. 

Our life starts with us. With our vibratory state. Our circumstances and situations follow our vibrations. So if we take our cues from our circumstances, we’re living a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because we let our vibratory state depend on our circumstances while life works the other way around.

We are truly the creator of our own life. By making our vibratory state a priority we will change our circumstances. 

So the circumstances or experiences we’re in are a reflection of our vibratory state. Nothing more. Just a reflection. So if we pay attention to our circumstances, we’re paying attention to our previous vibration and therefore will vibrate more of the same.

So paying attention to our circumstances while wanting to change them isn’t the best strategy to take.

Paying attention to how we feel IS the best strategy to take. 

Breaking the Cycle

We all have free will and we all have a say in how we feel, what we think and what we say and therefore how we vibrate. By changing that, we’re changing our vibration and with that our life.

Our circumstances are not something that happens to us with us not having a say in it. On the contrary! So if you want to change your circumstances, you can learn to see your circumstances as a way to learn how you truly feel inside.

Our circumstances REFLECT what’s happening inside of us. So if you want to know what you truly believe deep within, take a look at your circumstances. And by that, I mean taking a look at your circumstances with an inquisitive look (instead of a judgmental one, or a victim-hood one), a look with interest and curiosity.

Your circumstances have no inherent meaning and they also don’t have free will. It’s not like your circumstances are after you or out to get you. Circumstances react to vibration as they are vibration themselves. So by looking at your circumstances, you can learn more about your own vibration as well as what you are believing and thinking.

So, if you want to change your circumstances:

  • Make your vibration a priority. How you feel is what’s most important. Circumstances have no free will and are just vibration. We do have free will and can change our vibration. Our circumstances react to and reflect our vibration
  • Look at your circumstances as a reflection of how you feel inside. See your circumstances as a mirror to how you feel, what you believe and what you think. See them as a consequence of how you feel and not as the starting point of how you feel. Learn from them about what you believe so you can transform that.

How I got myself out of this.

Because I recognize my own coping strategies I knew I was feeling afraid. By becoming aware of:

  1. My coping strategies, and
  2. What they say about how I feel,

I was able to stop myself. I knew I felt afraid. I knew I believed in Lack of Money and Time as these situations are a reflection of that. And I knew I don’t need to take my cues from these circumstances as they are a reflection of my past vibration.

So instead of seeing my circumstances as a confirmation of my Lack beliefs, I decided to focus my attention on beliefs that make me feel good about myself. By doing that I feel good. And feeling good is all that matters because:

Vibrational attitude creates, circumstances reflect.

Bentinho Massaro

If you find it hard to feel good under shitty circumstances and fear is getting the best of you, I wrote an ebook about dealing and transforming that fear. You can get it here:



Ps. More information about my Face Your Fears Book can be found here.