Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

Last Friday was my third Free Online Shadow Circle and it was horrible! Let me tell you why.

For the past 2 weeks, I had been preparing for this Circle with the topic “addiction”. A subject very important to me. I had a beautiful Circle format laid out with sharing and supporting and I was looking forward to it so very much.

That Friday I was a running late a bit and it suddenly dawned on me that no one has yet asked about the Zoom link for the Circle. The thought popped into my head that maybe NO ONE would come….

Anxiously I opened up the Zoom Circle to thankfully see one beautiful lady waiting. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. “How could this happen??”. I had such a beautiful vision for this Circle with sharing and supporting with at least 4 to 5 women!

Later on, another lovely and beautiful lady attended the Circle and we were with the three of us.

When I started this Circle I vowed to myself I would give my all to this Circle if no one, one person or a lot of people would attend, but as my expectations were so different than the actual outcome I was blown away by disappointment, which I found difficult to lose during the Circle.

As you will see at the end of this e-mail the review of that Circle is just fine, it’s amazing actually. But to me, it was horrible. Why? Because I didn’t give my all at that Circle. I was too blown away by disappointment.

When after the Circle I let that disappointment be I realized that I truly wasn’t giving my all to the Circle in general nor in the preparation of it. I did my best, I truly did, but I didn’t give it my all. Why?

Because I’m afraid to shine. I’m afraid to be good at something. I’m afraid to be my best self and to enjoy it. So I keep myself small in the preparation as well as in the Circle itself.

And I decided to change this. And of course, fear immediately popped her head.

And today’s article is about what I do to transform that fear so I can shine as my True and Best Self!

1. Emotional Release

Emotional release means you’re letting your emotions out instead of keeping them within you. This means, crying when you’re scared or sad. Punching a pillow when you’re mad or screaming when you’re angry.

Emotions are energy and when you want to upgrade yourself and you feel fear and you hold that fear within you, it will become an emotional blockage. To prevent this from happening, you release your emotions whenever you feel them.

Tips regarding Emotional Release
When you’re crying, for example, you can easily fall into the “victim trap”. “Feeling sorry for yourself, thinking you can never do this”, etc. This is not the way to go. Feeling like a victim is different than releasing your emotions.

If you feel yourself sliding into this “victim trap”, stop with your emotional release, take a few deep breaths, collect yourself and start to feel your pain without losing yourself in it. It’s like watching a river flow by while you sit on the river bank. Watching your pain and sadness without swimming in the river.

2. Moving your emotional blocks

Moving is another way of releasing the emotions within you. Emotions are energy and if they can’t flow through you they will find a place in your body to stay. Shoulders, neck, and jaw are the most common places where emotions will settle.

Moving is literally a way to get those emotions moving again. You can think of dancing, kundalini shaking, Tai Chi, Chi Kung, running, yoga, whatever you feel the most comfortable with, do that.

Tips regarding Moving your emotional blocks
If you don’t feel comfortable moving your body, start small. Maybe only move your upper body. If you want to dance in your living room but don’t know how to follow the music, don’t worry about that. It’s not about doing it “right”, it’s about moving your body in a way that makes you feel good.

Get silly, move your arms and legs any way you like, shake ‘m, kick in the air, wave your arms, you’re totally alone in your living room and this is for YOUR benefit, and nobody is watching. So just move!

3. Get in Nature. 

Nature is one of the easiest ways to get back in touch with yourself and get your emotions moving again. We ARE nature, so being outside is so much more natural to us than being indoors behind a screen. Getting outside will get yourself back in touch with the TRUE You.

Tips regarding Getting in Nature.
If you live in a crowded city, there’s still nature out there. Focus your attention on the trees on the sidewalk. Look at the sky. Focus on the sounds of birds instead of the traffic. Go to that city park and look at the grass. Feel the wind or the sun on your skin.

If it’s possible, walk barefoot so your energy can find it’s way back to the earth where it will be recycled.

4. Self-Care

Have you heard of Self-Care Sunday? A day just about you and doing what’s right for you to recharge yourself? Ideally, every day is Self-Care Sunday, but sometimes that’s just not possible. So, take one day out of the week, to really take good care of yourself.

Go outside, dance in your living room, drink hot coco, get a massage, go to a spa, have a movie afternoon with a friend, relax on the couch with a good book, bake some cookies….whatever it is that relaxes you and makes you enjoy what you do, is good for Self-Care Sunday.

Tips regarding Self-Care
Self-Care is so important. It’s nothing to feel guilty about. If you don’t take good care of yourself, how can you take care of others? Putting yourself first is the opposite of being selfish. It’s also setting a good example for the people around you to take good care of themselves.

Saying no to invitations for things you really don’t want to do, is the best thing to do on Self-Care day. It’s YOUR day to recharge and tickle yourself 😉 Who else is going to do it if it’s not you?

These were all the steps I took during this weekend to let go of the negative emotions I felt after the Circle, to see what my lessons were and to sit with the fear that came up after the decision to upgrade myself regarding the circle.

You don’t need to do them ALL. If you just pick one and to that one step regularly, you will feel the difference.

Free Online Shadow Circle
In two weeks time I will host the fourth Free Online Shadow Circle, with an upgraded version of me 🙂 Below you can read the review of one of the ladies who attended the Circle last Friday. If you want to read more, you can find them on this page.

“Carmen invited me to her Shadow work circle and although I was not having my best day, I decided to take part anyway. And I am glad I did. It was a small, intimate circle and I felt very safe and comfortable, which is so important for such a delicate topic.
The time spent in
circle gave me a few Aha-moments and a much needed new experience. She has a very genuine and heartfelt way of making people feel at ease.
Definitely recommended!”

Sarah Ulhaas

Even though I wasn’t my best self, the Circle was still very much appreciated. I can’t even imagine what it will be like after I upgraded myself?

Can you imagine what you would be like after your “upgrade”? Let me know in the comments below!



Want more?

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